Ever encountered resistance to your ideas or opinions without being given a chance to defend? Did you reject someone’s opinion or refused to take a task? How about not wanting to take risks? Have you been impressed by how well you handled a challenge (surprised yourself)?

In this article, you will learn how our mindset has a significant impact on our perceptions and how to adopt the right mindset for success.

 It is normal to have inner fears but not to be possessed by them.

 

“While we are unique, yet we share a common trait, we tend to resist change because it brings uncertainty, and uncertainty brings fear, with a varying degree from one another. This fear could be “fear of the unknown” or “fear of failure” or fear of something else. And since we are naturally wired for survival, fear triggers our survival mode.”

 

It is normal to experience fear in our lives, we are not robots. Moderate fear is good for motivating us to act and protect what is important to us. Having said that, dwelling in fear for too long will have a negative impact on our decisions, for example, we may dismiss new paths or opportunities because of fear, then that is0020when we fall victims of our own making without realizing it. Fear triggers the release of the two stress hormones: Adrenaline and Cortisol in our bodies, which shuts down rationale thinking and creativity. This explains why sometimes we resist feedback or hear different views mistaking them for threats.

Our perception and how we react to different situations, gets imprinted in our minds and that sets the tone for our everyday thoughts, action, interactions, reactions, behaviors, and intuitions. Therefore, it is called mindset. Our mindset is influenced by many different factors, such as culture, beliefs, experiences, personality, friends, family, learnings, successes, failures…etc. Having the right mindset will position us for getting the right outcome in certain situations.

The important question to ask is: How do we put ourselves in the right mindset?

Well, before doing so, let me share a personal story.

 Need one eye-opener.

“…Spring of 2008 saw our extensive search for a house and like many other families after seeing many houses, we realized that we cannot have everything we desire for in our new home. So, we bough our first home knowing it is good enough for our needs. We knew that carpets are not the best hygienic flooring for our one-year-old toddler “Kevin.” In a family gathering, my uncle pointed out that hardwood flooring is the best option. Working with a limited budget, we had to make a choice and take the risk. My uncle was a good wingman when it came to taking the risk and figuring out a work around issues. I ended up buying the hardwood flooring material and the project started in the first room with my uncle leading and two of my cousins helping… The result was astonishingly good… I got motivated to do more but this time alone. So, I consistently dedicated time for installing it daily after the work hours. I never thought I would handle such a daunting task with such ease not only that, but my biggest surprise was the discovery of a hidden skill I didn’t know I poses; This led me to say in my head: “Wow, I am good with this. “… MH Journal (after summarizing, rephrasing, and omitting many details)

 

So, what does this story has to do with “Mindset”?

 

We become a reflection of what we choose to do.

I tell my sons that: “Your life is defined by a set of choices, and we become a reflection of what we choose to do… Making good choices would lead to good outcomes…”

While I often get the “dah” response, I continue coaching them saying: “Good outcomes will have long-term returns… Making good choices often requires investment of time, sacrifice, patience, consistency, and risk-taking….”

Our mindset is the access to the untapped well of skills and knowledge. It’s like sitting on a gold mine not realizing what lies down beneath. If big companies take the risk and invest money and resources into mine digging in hopes of gaining the benefits, why aren’t we doing that with our personal growth?

That hardwood project was the eye-opener and my first spark that ignited a chain-reaction of many projects over the years. I realized that every success at work to date went through a similar pattern. It became apparent to me that I could do anything I set my mind on if I have the right mindset. As I reflected more on all successes, challenges, learnings, and failures asking myself a simple question: “What contributed to my successes?” and I quote:

• I had clear reasoning and understanding of the “why.”
• I was curious enough.
• I was willing to take those calculated risks.
• I understood any assumptions, limitations, and constraints.
• I had some help.
• I took it piece by piece at a time.
• I had the patience and consistency to see through completion.
• I was motivated and remotivated with every small fulfilment and sense of achievement.
• I was dedicating adequate time to respond to issues and adjust to keep going.
• I took breaks and celebrated the achievements.

Does any of these sounds familiar?

Some of these are direct reasons why Agile became exceedingly popular in the last 15 years; But I am not writing this article to sell you Agile or Scrum or wood flooring, but I am taking you through my journey of raising above problems and challenges while discovering new skills and talents.

 

It takes considerable efforts.

Getting into the right mindset is not as easy as waking up in the morning deciding to do so. Certainly, choosing to have the right mindset is a crucial step towards that goal. Let me try to summarize that journey in following steps:

• Examining and assessing current mindset (listen to the voice inside)
• Determining if modifications are needed.
• Understanding “why” modifications are needed.
• Choosing the target mindset
• Recognizing, acknowledging, and getting comfortable with vulnerabilities
• Removing self from the equation
• Finding the opportunity
• Reflecting after each encounter

 

 Listen to the voice inside.

Examining and assessing our current mindsets is not simple but it is not hard either. Although having to be self-aware of what is going on inside the kitchen of our brains takes some self-forcing, but it comes gradually with practice. It takes an effort to be open-minded to examine the first reaction to a thought, question it and then classify what kinds of mindset we have. A trick that I use a lot is to think of an idea and the opposite at the same time while watching my reactions.

Here is an example:

“Being a conservative parent, I am opposed to kids’ sleepovers. When my boys ask for sleepovers, I pause and ask myself: Why my immediate reaction is “No”?... Then I think of situations when my reaction would be “Yes” and ask myself: i.e. Why would I agree to let them stay at my sister’s house?” This step would paint objectively why we oppose to or agree to things automatically. It allows us to highlight our fears to ourselves in preparation to deal with them.

 

“A key success factor is to understand the trajectory of current mindset so we the motive for a change of current mindset.”

 

The right mindset

As we learned in the previous chapter, listening to the voice inside us helps us recognize what kind of mindset we currently have and then build the case for change. There are few distinct types of mindsets to be explored, however, in the interest of keeping this as an article, “Growth Mindset” is set to be the focus of the upcoming chapters.

Growth mindset could be defined as the psychology of success and how we look at the world around us with the lens of succeeding. This is the opposite of the “Fixed Mindset”.

With a growth mindset:

• Risks, changes, and challenges become limitless opportunities.
• It becomes a habit to entertain ideas and their opposites at the same time.
• Failures become lessons learned.
• Listening becomes to understand not to respond.
• Discussions become self-once removed and feedback is taken for improving outcomes.
• Learning opportunities and challenges become enjoyable and fun.

 

“No one is born with expertise, but we were born with varying degrees of learning potential.”

 

Gaining more knowledge and new skills do not come fast but with hard work guided by a mentality of growth, consistency and patience; And that leads to consistent deposits of talent and skills overtime.

We can easily tell the mindset of someone by the choice of words when that person talks. For example, here are words that indicate a fixed mindset in relation to the situation or subject:

• I am not good at…
• I am too … for/to …
• I am just a …
• I do not think I can …
• I cannot.

The following would indicate that the person has a growth mindset related to the spoken subject:

• Tell me more about …
• Why not…
• Let us try…
• I am interested in/of ….
• I am not … yet.
• I am sure, we will figure it out.

Something to keep an eye on and if I caught myself using fixed mindset words, I immediately try reframe it by adding the work “yet” at the end. For example, “I am not good at doing this” … “yet”. You will be surprised how the chemicals in your brain changes by just adding that word.  

Good leaders who promote innovation allow their employees to take risks to try something new, fail fast and move on to the next challenge. With that mindset, team competence and bench strength grow by leaps and bounds.

I have been blessed in my life with opportunities that challenged me to reinvent myself, embrace changes and take on new challenges.

 

Comfortable with own vulnerabilities

Vulnerabilities are at the core drivers of anyone’s fears, which explains why people tend to hide their vulnerabilities. It may be easy to recognize our own vulnerabilities, but it takes effort to be comfortable with them and furthermore, it takes a lot of inner strength and courage to share them with others. Being uncomfortable with our vulnerabilities makes practicing growth mindset behavior a far stretch. When we feel we have nothing to hide, we get that stumbling block and distraction out of the way and that’s when we are set free to learn and grow. 

Here is another true story:

“My first public speaking was another eye-opener to me. Growing up as a shy kid, I have never thought that one day I would be standing on a stage in front of 950 people talking about a topic that was outside of my comfort zone. It felt like hours walking up to the stage and the wait for my turn to speak was nerve-wrecking. I was franticly trying to memorize my notes five hundred thousand times over and over… my starting sentence did not seem to stick in my head and that was making me even more stressed. When my turn to speak came, I felt I will collapse on the stage but to my surprise, I opened my mouth, and my first sentence was a joke about my vulnerability being on the stage for the first time… People laughed… Phew, I felt instant relief as if I was doing this everyday. I was surprised how a very simply trick of making fun of my vulnerability not only made it go away but I felt more confident, and I talked about the topic without reading a single word from my notes. Few speeches after, I discovered that I make notes for every speech that I never read on stage. Having notes in my hands are simply acting as my assurance but I never read them even I may occasionally appear to be doing so. My best speeches end up different from my best notes.”

We all have vulnerabilities that tie us down. We should free ourselves from these chains by admitting them and being comfortable with them in the open. Also being comfortable with our vulnerabilities will allow us to be open for receiving feedback as we will take them as suggestions for improvement. Admitting mistakes is another healthy practice and I can guarantee that will never impact someone’s self-confidence or image, but it is quite the opposite.

Good leaders are those who promote psychological safety in their workplace, they should commend those who admit their mistakes as this enroots the growth mindset within the team. and encourage them to share their vulnerabilities.

 

Self-once removed.

Focusing on the success and removing ourselves from the equation makes the dialogue focussed on the subject at hand away from us. It makes responses directed to solving problems instead of defending oneself.

Let us take an example: How to respond to something like this: “How come this project is late?”

Obviously, the question was posed with no intention of personal attack, the person asking seems to have a genuine interest in the project's success. The people with fixed mindset will perceive this inquiry differently from the people with a growth mindset:

• Fixed mindset (a threat): “How come you didn’t do your job and let the project slide?”
• Growth mindset (what did we learn): “What are the lessons learned and how can you apply this learning to contribute to the success of this project?”.

Did you notice the first one will drive a defensive reply while the second one will drive the discussion toward the solution and success. Even if there was an intention of personal attack, remain calm, continue to remove yourself out of the equation, be objective, and state the facts.

 

Find your spark.

My advice for those who have already experienced the first eye-opener to discover their inner wealth and strength; Look back and reflect on what contributed to that success. Do not dismiss or understate your discoveries. Do not waste your energy in complaining but rather learn from your challenges.

For those who did not find it yet, look for a spark to ignite your growth:

• Find a new opportunity and take it as a challenge.
• Understand why you are taking this on.
• Assess the risk and ask: what is the worst thing that will happen?
• Ask for help if needed.
• Start small.
• Break it into small manageable pieces.
• Be realistic.
• Have Patience and keep going.
• Be Consistent.
• Celebrate successes with your loved ones.
• Reflect on your successes and note the pattern.

 

“Change is always good; It keeps us engaged, motivated and allows us to grow”

 

Happy growth everyone!

 

Michael Hanna, P. Eng, PMP

Senior Manager, Project Management Office – Bell Canada

Former President – PMI Manitoba

President, Consumer Division – Rhino Flooring Inc.

Executive Director – Utter Level Corp.

Instructor – University of Winnipeg